the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
