We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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