I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize