Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
should my penis look like a turkey
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
