super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
