All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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