I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
