Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
