bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
