Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
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I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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