He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i drank out of a bidet.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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