I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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