I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
