Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
