my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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