did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize