Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
