their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
