Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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