U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
