Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
