I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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