I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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