This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
