so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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