In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
