Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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