Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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