ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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