I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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