He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
