Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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