the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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