the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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