meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
