you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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