How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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