Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
