sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
