He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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