i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
