Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
