No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
