I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
