Nicole vs. Life
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
