She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
