I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
