I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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