508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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