If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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