Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
