NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
