She is in my trunk
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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