I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
