I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
whose ass print is on the piano?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
