i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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