omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
