Your dad touched me again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
