things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize