Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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