you would pick up someone in the library
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
