Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
